Learn how to love those on-the-job haters in the office

Learn how to love those on-the-job haters in the officeLearn how to love those on-the-job haters in the officeSelf-Assessment Quiz True or FalseI am a genuine person at work.I give praise where praise is due, and I dont try to steal others thunder.I listen more than I talk.I am engaging and open with my co-workers.Last week I talked about how important it is for you to love what you do. Well, that got me to thinkin about on-the-job haters because haters could be a for-sure deterrent that keeps you from loving where you work.Ive had some amazing jobs that could have been ruined by a hater or two had I let them. And no matter how much I may have answered TRUE to the questions above, there were totenstill people who didnt like me (Gasp IKR? Unthinkable) But, one thing I know for sureAnd its only a matter of time, if youve avoided them thus far in your career, before you run into one. So its better I send you out into the world prepped to handle them with aplomb. (Yes, as always, you ca n thank me later).Youre going to have haters at work either because youre new, youre old, or you do too good a job. These are silly reasons, but NOT to the hater. Also, these are reasons that are really out of your control, right? I mean the crux of the matter is that haters hating on you is rarely about you, and often about them and their insecurities. You cant help being the new person. You cant help having been kept on for the long haul because youre fabulous. And you certainly wont stop doing great, praise-worthy work. What you can do is be aware of the flavor of hater-ade your hater is sipping on.Do your homework. Does the hater give everyone a huff and a side eye, or is the venom laser focused on just you? If its everyone, then the hater could be suffering from one of two maladies they arent quite comfortable in their own skin, doing what they do, so like a drowning man they want to pull you under with them by criticizing everything you do. Or, they are just unhappy in their w ork environment. (Read last weeks post on not loving what you do If you stay around too long in a job you hate, YOU could become this type of hater. So GET OUT)If shes only throwing shade your way, you have to up your wattage in her direction.Take some extra time to talk to her, like while getting coffee in the break room together or before that conference call starts. Yes, I said TALK TO THE HATER Genuinely. Get to know who she is. What her likes are. What she does outside the office. How she spends her free time. How she got started. So that she, in turn, can get to know you, too. She may see that youre not the haughty know-it-all that shes pegged you to be, but rather a kind, strong, and smart person. And you might learn that she was passed over for your job THREE times. So its not you per se shes hating on, just the fact that you got the job shes been hankering for.Inclusion also works well for dealing with certain haters. If youre used to batting things out of the park solo, ma ybe take a few side steps to allow him in by seeking him out specifically for his opinion or direction. Free up your thinking. Haters have good ideas, too, but you have to be open and receptive to hearing them. Up your team-player skills just a notch. That may be enough for this hater to really start lovin some you. (Or at least, hating you a bit less.)The jealous-monger haters are the worst kind of haters. They want to be YOU. But they dont have the skill set, tenacity, charisma, or capacity TO BE you. And even worse, they dont have the desire to put in the work thats needed to be you. So, they try to take shortcut claims to your fame, like taking your ideas and announcing them as their own or attaching their name (and sometimes photo) to work that youve done. They get the acclaim without having put in the sweat equity that you and your team put in.Like body snatchers, these smile-in-your-face haters may fool some of the people some of the time with their clone-like behavior, but n ot for long. When things youve handled smoothly suddenly start falling through the cracks, when deadlines are constantly missed, when your hater goes MIA for undefined periods of time, people will notice. And the beauty of dealing with haters like this? You often wont have to say a word. Others will out them for you So, if your haters are just hating because they arent, well you, do NOT ever hide your shine so they can feel better about themselves. You just keep being you.Always be kind. Always be helpful. And always keep loving what you do. No hater can take that away from you unless you allow them to.Cheryl Grace is the sassy aunt, best friend, and mentor youve always needed in your life. The successful jet-setting, global corporate executive founded the aspirational lifestyle brand Powerful Penny LLC. Her products, workshops and speeches probe, inspire and empower to ensure those who really want to can get to their next level of best. Her blogs on careers, prosperity, relationsh ips, family, looking and living fabulously, and living a five-star life can be found atwww.powerfulpenny.com.